Ava Jean + Papa Jim (June 2010 Quincy visit)

I still think of you

Today is Father's Day. It's been 12 years now that you've been gone.  I think of you all the time.... and sadly, I also forget things about you each day.  I forget the sound of your voice.  I forget your smell.  Your hands.  That is, until I watch a video of you.  Then it all comes back.  You were such a proud Dad.  You cheered for "Goose" (me) with such pride and love.


Days go by and life is different, now.  I'm a big girl.  I live in a big city.  I have a husband.  I even have a little girl of my own.  You would love her, Dad.  She has your chin... and beautiful blue eyes.  You would love Ken, too.  He loves me just like you did... so strong, so protective and so pure.  

I want you to know, that you always made me proud... each and every day.  You were the strongest, sweetest, most entertaining & most amazing Dad a girl could wish for.  I may not have had the quantity of years that some girls get with their Dads... but I was certainly lucky enough to get the quality.  I miss you each day, Dad.  I love you.  Thank you for watching over us.  

Being a "fan" on Facebook has its perks!

It's pretty well known how much I love Ellen Degeneres.  I think she's incredibly funny and I adore her humor.  I became a fan of hers on Facebook which allows me to receive posts about her show, upcoming shows and also about special appearances.  On Tuesday I received a Facebook message from Ellen... mentioning that her staff would be at The Bean, giving away a few VIP tickets to her Chicago show "Ellen's Somewhat Special Special".


With Ava it would be impossible for me to make it to The Bean.  So I called Ken.  He couldn't squeeze it in.  Then I called Jill.  Good ole' Jill.  She works just 2 blocks from The Bean.  Luckily, her schedule allowed her to run over there to try and get a few of the tickets.  She grabbed two of her friends from work and headed over to try and get a few of the tickets.


It was mayhem!  People were there with signs and costumes... Needless to say, my hopes of Jill getting tickets were pretty much crushed.  As it turns out, Jill's two friends from work were two of the 8 people to get tickets.  I had Jill beg them to let me buy them. Little angels!  They agreed to hand over the tickets for $50 each.  Woo hoo!!!  I was speechless... pacing the condo like a schoolgirl!


We got to the show and COULD NOT believe how incredible our seats were.  We were 4th row... 4TH ROW!  The stage was RIGHT FREAKING THERE!  Plus I was right on the aisle! Jill and I think we will definitely be on camera considering the camera guy was in our face a million times, filming our reactions to everything.


It was time for the show to start!!  Ellen came out and was so beautiful!  Her outfit (suit with untied bowtie) was super cute, too.  I'm pretty sure we made eye contact at least twice ;-)


During her show, she had a bunch of cool guests, doing all sorts of neat tricks/ acrobats.  She had a pretty funny comedian from Chicago, too.  We were getting ready to see the next act come on when all of a sudden, 4 of the the star Blackhawks players come on stage... hoisting up the Stanley Cup!!!!!  Everyone went nuts! The Blackhawks song came on and everyone was singing!  They then walked down the aisles, holding up the cup... I FREAKING TOUCHED THE STANLEY CUP!  Then Brower gave me a "high five"!  I was awestruck.


The show ended with a performance by Lady Antebellum.  They were incredible!  I had the best time and am so happy I FINALLY got to see her live.  I can now scratch something off of my Bucket List! 

The show will air on TBS on Sunday, June 27th. 

Walking & waving!

How to fix it...

Everyone is pissed at BP (Yeah, I get it... the whole situation sucks).  But what would the other oil companies be doing differently, under the same circumstances? I'm pretty sure if BP knew how to fix it, they would.  So instead of spreading all the hate, why don't we put on our "thinking caps" and figure out ways to help them fix it. I'll be the first to suggest something... How about a VERY large tampon.  

Some recent pics

9 months already?!

Seriously?!?!  Where does the time go???  I cannot believe my little baby is 9 months!  A year ago she was this growing bulge in my belly and now she's crawling around, climbing up furniture, eating people food, speaking jibber-jabber and sprouting teeth... it's nuts!  She's almost unrecognizable if I look at her newborn photos.  And don't even get me started on the outfits she wore when she was first born!  It's unfathomable to me that she was once THAT small!    


With her speedy growth, comes the age old question... How soon until you have Baby #2.  I literally have that same question running through my head, 300x per day.  How the hell do I know the answer?! !  I mean, I definitely want another baby.  I just don't know when!  Do I wait for Ava to get old enough that she's not a baby/ toddler... so she can be "Mommy's little helper"?  Or do I start now and get all of the baby years/ baby gear out of the way and have two babies, close in age?  And what if it takes a long time to get pregnant?  It's not like it was easy the first time around... 14 months was a LONG time!


I do find the idea of another baby to be a little scary though, especially considering I'm a stay-at-home-mom.  I mean, I'm already outnumbered with Ava and our 2 giant dogs.  It's scary to think of adding another baby to the already chaotic mix.  


For now, I'm going to continue to enjoy my sweet baby and all there is to come.  

Texas Bus Driver Shocked by Near-Miss With Baby in Road

Okay.. What is wrong with people?!  First of all, why on earth didn't the father thank the bus driver for not running over his child?  And second, why the hell is your child in the middle of the street, all alone, at 12:45 AM?  The mother said during an interview on The Today Show, "Things like this happen.  People think that they don't, but they do."


Um, no Mrs. Flores.  They don't.  Maybe things like this happen in YOUR dysfunctional house where it's okay that your children roam around, during all hours of the night (when they should be safely tucked in bed), unattended and unsafe from harms like city buses.  Shame on you.  I don't blame DCFS for conducting a serious investigation on the wellbeing of your children.  


I'm not perfect.  Lord knows I make mistakes.  And I'm certainly not saying that I won't have times where I screw up.  But this is big.  It really makes me angry that there are people out there that are blessed with children and they're so careless, while the person next door can't have children and would be a far more superior parent.  I just don't get it.


Read more of the story and see video by clicking below:

FOXNews.com - Texas Bus Driver Shocked by Near-Miss With Baby in Road

Dear Ava....

May 16, 2010:

Wow, so much has happened since I last wrote to you, Ava!  We took a trip to Quincy to visit Nana and Aunt Steph.  You and I took the train and stayed there for 4 days!  While we were there, we had lots of fun!  You got to swing in a baby swing for the first time... and you LOVED it!  You cried when I tried to take you out!  

You and I napped together in bed a lot during our visit.  I just love sleeping with you.  You snuggle up perfectly in the crook of my arm.  You throw your arm over my tummy and sleep so peacefully.  Every now and then you’ll startle and stiffen up but then you just fall back asleep.  You’re so sweet.  

While we were there you met Nana’s neighbor boy, Noah.  You really liked him.  You liked him so much, you leaned forward a few times to give him a kiss.   It was so cute!  We got pictures and video of you doing it! 

 

We took you to Aunt Steph’s workplace so we could show you off to all of her friends!  Boy you brightened their day!  You were so cute in your leapard headband with the hot pink flower!  You just smiled at everyone, melting their hearts! 

The weekend after our visit to Quincy was Mother’s Day!  I was so excited to be celebrating my very first Mother’s Day!!  Your Daddy did a GREAT job at making me feel extra special!  He gave me 3 dozen roses, a card from the 2 of you and a gorgeous cabinet to keep all of my jewelry.  We went to mass that morning at St. Josaphat (the same church that we were married at... and where you were baptized).  During mass you fell asleep on my chest.  It was precious.   

After mass, we went to brunch at Branch 27.  Your dad had made reservations earlier that week for us to have a special table, right by the window. After brunch, we went home and took you to the park so you could swing.  Your Dad didn’t know how much you loved it until he saw for himself!  You just giggle with so much happiness with each and every push.  Not all kids smile like you do... they tend to just sit there, staring off into space.  Not you though!!  Happy girl!

You continue to flip your wrist toward your mouth, as if you’re trying to conduct an orchestra..  I think you do it when you’re trying to tell me you want milk.  I’m serious!!  I think you’re trying to communicate!  I read in a sign language book that babies will make up their own signs.  You’re sooo smart Ava!!  It’s very cute.  Here's a clip of you doing it while in Florida... Pay no attention to your Dad's perverse attempts with the camera!

You can now put yourself back into a sitting position from your belly.  This is considered another milestone.  You’ve also started pulling yourself up on your knees.  You do it all the time in your crib.  You're also pulling up onto your feet.  It's scary because I worry about you falling over and getting bruises.  I guess a few bumps never really hurt anybody!  

Days are getting warmer now so we’ve been able to get out a lot more.  You wake up each day around 6:30... you’ll play in the living room after eating some fruit around 7:00.  You go down for your morning nap around 8:30 and will sleep anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours!  After you wake up, we venture outside to either go for a walk or to the gym.  We’ll grab lunch while we’re out but then need to head home because you go back down for another nap at 1:00.   When you wake up from that nap, we sometimes run errands or go for another walk outside.  Some days you decide to take a third nap... some days you don’t.  You’re going to bed now around 7:30 and are sleeping through the night without any problems.  Some nights I’ll wake up at 3:00 AM and I’ll see you in your crib (through the video monitor), sitting up and just talking and playing by yourself in your crib.  It’s so cute.  Part of me feels like I should go in and get you... but all of the books I’ve read say it’s healthy for you to soothe yourself back to sleep.  So I watch you play and before I know it, both you and I have fallen back asleep.  

We have a little game you like to play.  I sneak up behind you while you’re on your tummy... and I make these little “I’m gonna get you moans”.... and you turn and smile that HUGE smile and then you nuzzle your head into my cheek, with your mouth wide open.  I think you’re trying to give me a kiss but I ‘m not sure!  I love it!!  You do it each time I sneak up on you!

Boo!

In the mornings, I will play the "BOO!" game with Ava. I bend down outside of her crib, far enough to where she can't see me anymore. Inevitably, she comes looking for me and I'll pop up just in time to scare her. She absolutely LOVES being spooked! This video is my new favorite... it's impossible not to crack up!

Before I was a Mom...

The piece below was not written by me, yet I understand each of these statements, deep in my bones.  To my friends and family on Mother's Day, celebrating life as a Mother... I'm sure each of you can relate to every one of these lines.  

Before I was a Mom -

I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom -

I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

My Mother...

My Mother is special to me because:

I perform, she cheers.

I fail, she consoles.

I laugh, she laughs.

I cry, she understands.

I complain, she listens.

I celebrate, she smiles.

I take, she gives.

I try to show her I love her, 

she has already shown me. 

A very big thank you to my dear friend Marjorie for sharing this poem with me.  I am ashamed to admit it, but I now value Mother's Day so much more, now that I know how much work it truly is... work indeed, yet the reward is better than any other.  Now that I will be celebrating my very first Mother's Day, I feel it is necessary to celebrate my own Mother.... that for many years received no thank-you's or pats on the back for how incredible she was to overcome the daily struggles that came at her, smiling through all the heartache and sadness of my Dad's illness(es).  Despite it all, she always had a way of making everything "OK".


Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful, beautiful, strong, happy, supportive & loving Mom- Norma Jean Bower.  I love you more every day and strive to be at least 1/2 of the Mother that you are to me...  Ava Jean could only be so lucky.  I could NOT ask for more.  Thank you.

This photo is of my Mom and I when I was 6 months old.

A sweet memory

I can't recall how Ken and I began the conversation about fishing, but I couldn't help but recall some very sweet memories of my late Father, Jack.  

Oh how I loved to go fishing with him.  And oh how he loved to fish!  He saw his way through many fishing boats while I grew up... his Champion was always his favorite though.  

Our fishing trips always began VERY early.  Usually around 5 AM, we would wake up to get things ready.  I would be responsible for making the bologna/ cheese/ mustard sandwiches, while Dad got the cooler loaded with lots of pop and water.  We'd set out at dawn and arrive at one of his many favorite lakes to fish, just in time!  

He had a knack for backing those boats in!  He always did it just right.  He'd back it in, just so far (to where the tailpipe of his truck was under water and making bubbles with a fury).  He would then throw the truck in park, get out of the truck to walk back to the boat.  He pushed the boat off the trailer into the water, getting himself soaked up to his waist.  He'd tie it off and say, "Hold it tight, Goose".  And that's what I did.  He'd return, shortly after parking the truck and trailer in a nearby lot.  And that's when the adventures began. 

He always knew the spots to find them... Bass, Blue Gill, Walleye.. you name it, we caught it.  

One fishing trip will always come to mind.  I can't recall the lake we fished, but I remember something very comical happened.  We had been fishing all day and it was around 2:00 pm.  I was bored.  I had given up on casting because the fish weren't biting.  So I retreated to the front of our tiny boat so I could get some sun, while listening to my walkman... yes, walkman.  No iPods back then!

Anyway, he had brought his new rod n' reel that he ordered from Cabella's.  He hadn't used it yet but was certainly looking forward to it... he told me he was waiting for the perfect spot to use it for the very first time.  He looked at me, sunbathing and said, "Hey Goose, cast a few... I'll bet you'll get a bite".  So I reluctantly picked up my pole.  I drew it back and threw it out there in the open water.  What a HUGE splash it made!  Hmmmmm, why the huge splash you ask?  Well, that's because my lure had caught Dad's BRAND NEW rod n' reel by the line & I just cast it into the deep open water.  I was speechless. He turned around, so excited by the splash... most likely thinking I had caught "the big one".  I slowly turned back to meet his elated face, only to inform him that his beloved rod n' reel, that had NEVER been used, was now at the bottom of the lake.  

He didn't care one bit.  He basically gave the whole, "Oh well, no big deal" so not to make me feel bad.  He didn't walk away that easy though.  He eagerly jumped in the water (the fish finder said we were around 5 ft deep), and began sweeping his foot along the lake floor... searching for the rod n' reel.  After 10 minutes of looking... and him swallowing water from stepping into drop-offs, he gave up and got back into the boat.  I felt so bad.  He didn't dwell on it... but I did.  

I thought the least I could do was to continue to fish along side of him to know that the day wasn't a complete waste.  So I casted a few more... but got nothing.  

With my last cast, I threw it right toward the cast that tossed the rod n' reel.  I let the line sink and began to reel.  "I got something! I got something!" I squealed!  He turned around and said "Nice and easy... nice and easy."

The "catch" got about 10 feet away from the boat and I started to wonder why the fish wasn't putting up a fight.  Why wasn't I pulling back as hard as usual?!  And then it surfaced.  

I had caught... the rod n' reel.  

We. Were. Speechless.  I mean, what are the odds of something like that happening?!?!  

We laughed the rest of the day, the whole way home and well into the future about that day.  And no, it's by no means a "fisherman's tale".  It happened, and it is our memory to have forever. 

I love you Daddy.  I want you to know that I see you in Ava, every day.    

Pics from Beth Wild Photography in Sarasota, FL

We visited Nana & Papa a few weeks ago at their home in Florida.  It was a nice long vacation... 8 days of fun in the sun.  We got our pictures taken by Beth Wild while we were there (my friend Kristi Davis introduced me to her... and she takes AMAZING photos). Well, despite great planning, the day turned out to be a disastrous experience.  We forgot my clothes and had to turn around, got lost, ran out of gas, had to pull over twice for 2 diaper blowouts, etc.  We got there an hour late and had to get our pics taken at her studio because of the weather (we had planned for them in a beautiful park).  To top it off, Ava had surprised us with a terrible case of diaper rash and teething.  Ava was so unhappy and feeling so bad that she just cried the whole time.  

However... we got some GREAT pics!!  

  

Vote for Ava!

I clearly have far too much time on my hands. Therefore I've taken up a new hobby. Ken and I have decided to make Ava our retirement plan. We just need her to get discovered. I sure hope it works... I've got my eye on some snazzy things! ;)


Vote below!!  

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Original photo is below... their site stretches her head!