No words.

Friday's tragedy has me at a loss. I cannot shake the images of those poor children out of my head. My imagination runs wild, thinking of their last few moments on earth. I can only pray they didn't experience any pain, suffering and most of all, fear. I, like many of you, think of my own babies-- and it literally breaks my heart. I picture Ava there, scared and wanting her parents to save her,  help her. So many kids didn't get the chance to be saved.

I do not know how these parents can move on after something like this. I honestly don't. Personally, I don't know that I could. I like to think I would find the strength to live on for the rest of my family, but I don't know that I could ever overcome the grief of losing a child-- especially in this horrific way.

For two days, I sat glued to the TV, waiting for updates on this tragedy-- trying to find answers, most of all a motive. I mean, how could someone do something so awful? I cannot comprehend it. What would compel anyone to do something like this?

The images of that small community literally hurt my heart. How do you explain to your child that their friends were killed? How do you look the parents of the deceased children in the face and not feel guilty that your own child is alive? How do people plan to reenter that scene where this awful massacre took place?

I don't blame the guns, however I would like to know why a rifle, that could do that amount of damage, is available for purchase to any "Regular Joe" walking down the street.

Nope, I don't blame the gun. I blame him-- and to me, a "history of mental illness", does not make what he did okay. How does a thought of such horrific acts even enter one's mind?? How are you that sick to even devise such a plan? I just don't get it. I can't wrap my head around it.

I can only imagine what the parents of Sandy Hook are going through. Looking at the Christmas presents under the tree that will never be opened. Plans crushed. Hearts ripped out.

Dropping Ava off at school this morning was a somber one.  As I sat there in the drop-off line, I imagined her little classroom and all of her beloved friends and teachers; there wouldn't even be time to hide if something like that happened in her class. If some crazy wanted to wreak havoc, he could. Sure, they have security but so did the school in CT. If someone is that determined, they will always find a way. It's so sad. What is the world coming to?

I guess that is what saddens me most-- that such evil exists in the minds of people. I pray those sweet babies are in a better place where things like this will never again touch them. And I pray for those left here on earth to find a way to make the world we live in, a better place for our children. This has to stop.