"Second Try at the Second Tri"
Bagel with cream cheese.
Chicken Lo Mein.
Moose Tracks Ice Cream.
That’s what I ate today. Yep. Just another food filled day in the increasingly tight shoes of a pregnant-gal. And sadly, this is a somewhat light day in the food department.
That’s right. I just hit my 17th week of pregnancy today-- which means Baby Boy Gilbert is now the size of an onion -- a mere onion -- which hardly explains why I am already sporting a beer belly that now hangs over my elastic pants. Blasphemy.
During my first pregnancy (with Ava) I LOVED being pregnant. I floated around, all happy, full of energy, glistening with that “pregnancy glow” that everyone talks about. It was wonderful. I didn’t show until 20 weeks and I managed to gain just 26 lbs throughout the entire pregnancy. To top it all off, I had absolutely zero issues with morning sickness, fatigue, etc.
Not this time around, pal! At 12 weeks, you could already see the beginning of the Buddha. Also, I’ve not only experienced nausea, but I’ve been sick -- violently sick (I will leave it at that and spare you the graphic details). And my complexion?! Let’s just say that I could be a “Before” picture for a Proactiv advertisement. Hell, even my dreams have become super wacky!
Yep, it’s completely different this time around. Perhaps it’s because I’m having a BOY! That’s right! The ultrasound confirmed the gender at just 12 weeks -- and let me tell you, my husband felt an overwhelming sense of pride about the size of our son’s genitalia, already appearing on ultrasound at such an early age. Boys -- Ay ay ay! He says that “obviously it’s hereditary”. Um. ok...?
The new addition to our family, brings not only excitement, but also concern. Ava has reached the age of 21 months, which means she is in the thick of her terrible twos; I have concerns for her reaction to this change: Will she act out? Will she react with jealous behavior and lash out at the baby? Will she digress so I will baby her, too?
At times, she can be a walking advertisement for birth control: She won’t sit still for dinner anymore. She refuses to sit in the cart while shopping. She rarely listens to directions. I seriously feel like almost everything has become a battle. She is still darling as can be, don’t get me wrong -- she is just deciding what she does and does not want to do now -- which creates it’s own set of headaches -- and requires a ton of patience -- something I’m working on -- reeeeeeally working on.
I ask her if she is excited to be a big sister and we get both answers. I don’t think she will fully realize the magnitude of this change until it is here. For one, she’ll be losing her playroom because its will soon become the new nursery. And as for another change, there will be another child to share her Mommy & Daddy -- something that will definitely shock her. “What do you mean I have to wait?!”
And she’s not the only one who will experience a major adjustment with the addition to our family. I, for one, am scared stiff. I’m scared of changing the dynamic of our family; just when we get into a good groove, something changes. I’m also scared of getting the dreadful postpartum depression again. I’m scared that with two kids, I will most definitely be losing my identity. How do people keep it together? I fear I will turn into a recluse, afraid to leave the house for fear of not knowing how.
I sometimes think about that show with the Duggar family. That lady has been had like 70 kids. Bitches be crazy. She has been pregnant for nearly two decades. Can you imagine being sober for that long?! I would open a vein. I have enough trouble going the first 20 weeks without having a glass of wine!
Now that I’m over the hump of the morning sickness and fatigue, I look forward to enjoying the fun part of the pregnancy, which comes with the second trimester: planning the nursery, dreaming of what our baby will look like, and having an occasional glass of wine (keep your opinions where they belong -- to yourself!).
Having said that, we couldn’t be more thrilled with the expansion of our family. I’m sure there are struggles and celebrations to come, with this addition, and we welcome them with open arms. I am lucky to say that I have been blessed with all I ever wanted and that I could not ask for more. I hope this little bugger is ready for the ride of his life!
As my sister said during her wedding toast to me and my husband, “As a family grows in number, it grows in strength”. Here’s to having an even stronger bond within our family, and even more love under the roof of our home.