Tuesday, December 14, 2010

When life hands you lemons, throw them at your TV

All of the "holiday-wholesome-ness" has been getting to me. In case you haven't noticed, the last umpteen posts have been full of CHEEZ and very little WHINE. With that said, it's about that time for me to lash out and go a wee bit postal. Besides, it's healthy. Keeps me sane. Here goes.

Do you catch yourself watching TV and notice that your face is making an awful scowl? Perhaps, it's because you want to crawl through the magic screen a smack someone in the face??  Happens to me ALL the time.  

The people that provoke me the most are:
  • Speidi - The King & Queen of Douche-baggery.   
  • Martha Stewart - Need I elaborate?  The Queen of taking over, interrupting, all things snooty and just plain dull.
  • Kristen Stuart - Why does she always look so freakin' miserable? And stand up straight, damnit!
  • Nate Berkus- It's not him so much as it is his hosting skills.. or lack thereof.  He's painful to watch.
  • Justin Bieber - I don't get the fascination... or the lame flip of the hair. 
  • Natalie Morales - Would you PLEASE let your guests actually finish a sentence?!  And STOP checking yourself out on the monitor EVERY 5 seconds.
  • Taylor Swift - I'll give her this... she has catchy music. But she cannot sing live.... and I'm SO over the cat eyes
  • Giada De Laurentis - I despise how she throws her accent in on every other word, on words like Pancetta... or Prosciutto... or Parmesan Reggiano. She sounds like a moron. I cringe every time she says "crunchy"... I can just picture her huge, white grill, chomping back at me. 
  • The Jonas Brothers - The live VMA performance where the lead singer slipped and fell will forever warm my heart 
On the flipside, I LOVE watching these peeps. They appear to be sooo much fun!

  • The Kardashians - I like Khloe the best 
  • Wanda Sykes - Is there anyone funnier? 
  • Jennifer Aniston- Is there anyone more beautiful? 
  • Ellen- Don't really need to explain this one. 
  • Paula Dean- If I could have a second Mom... 
  • Chelsea Handler- My future BFF 
  • Brian Williams- How cool is he?! 
  • Sandra Bullock- What an incredible woman. 
  • Kristin Wig- Best actress! She is so hysterical. 
  • Tina Fey- don't really need to explain this one either.
There. I just had to get the grinch-iness out of my system.  Sorry to those who fell victim to my rant. 


    Frostbyte Falls said...


    That's a lovely child you are holding.

    Perhaps you aren't aware that people read things posted on the internet, and perhaps some things said about others are better left unsaid.

    I scanned both lists, and although I agree partially with some of the comments and disagree partially with some others, I'll never tell which.

    Can you see the wisdom of that? Perhaps its something you will want to teach to your lovely child.

    Start now?

    and Merry Christmas to you and your family.


    Kristi Gilbert said...

    Thanks T for the comment. And I think I should definitely consider your suggestions, especially for Ava's sake. I appreciate the feedback.

    Tasha said...

    I don't get T's comment. This T... as in Tasha....loves your list!!!! What do you need to consider for Ava's sake? Sorry to offend your friend Frostbyte Falls, or T, or whatever, but....Ava's mommy can have her own opinion especially on her own blog. Also, Ava isn't reading this anyways. She's 1! I LOVE reading your opinions and humor, Kristi. I love all of Whine and Cheez too! Bah humbug Frostbyte! You and the other anonymous, or ANNOYnomous, people that are posting your unwanted opinions are really only adding to the entertainment value of this blog! So there! You can run and tell that....! Hahaha!

    ~Kristi said...

    Do you think T is the same person who was so upset when you made fun of Nate Burkus last time? She might just be mad that he made it on the bad list.
    I love your lists and could not agree more about the annoying ones. Lay off MY BFF Chelsea though...I'm not afraid to fight you for her. :)
    Ava is a lovely child and I hope she grows up just as funny and opinionated as you are!

    Kristi Gilbert said...

    I don't really understand how I'm being THAT awful by listing my opinions on what shows & characters I like/ dislike. Lord knows that I got feedback when I did that little reality program years ago. It goes with the territory. Besides, I didn't really dog on any of them too bad. My question is how these "anonymous" folks keep discovering my little blog...? Which has just inspired me... off to write my next post. <3

    Frostbyte Falls said...

    There is just enough of that already, isn't there?

    Write about what you love, maybe it will rub off, is all I'm saying.


    no, not the same T as mentioned above.